Our winter in the Northwest has been incredibly mild—warmest January on record—and so the snow pile-ups in other parts of the country seem hard to imagine. But…this weatherman has convinced me of the severity of weather.
As Nick put it, he is like the Glenn Beck of weather casting. Oh boy. Oh boy.
[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]Played 23 times.
“Horchata” by Vampire Weekend, Contra 2010.
The first track off of Vampire Weekend’s forthcoming album strikes me as an incredibly perfect winter song. (We’ll skip the preamble about whether Vampire Weekend are a bunch of self-involved ivy league dandies who make overly precious Wes Anderson music, or are a bunch of self-involved ivy league dandies who make really very good and catchy Wes Anderson music.) The use of the cascading vocals and the delicate, plinky marimba makes “Horchata” sound like a modernized Christmas carol: one that has to do with drinking hot milk and wearing a balaclava, rather than anything religious. Now that Seattle has become a frigid wonderland of permafrost, I thought it the perfect tune to put some bounce into the day.
Pea-sized hail and lightning over most of North Seattle.
Level 3 is when animals of all kinds begin dropping out of the sky and speaking in tongues. Call me when that happens.
Edit: I’ve been informed (thanks, Mom!) that this was apparently not hail, but instead graupel. What the crapel is graupel? Read on, with text from the Glossary of Meteorology:
“graupel—Heavily rimed snow particles, often called snow pellets; often indistinguishable from very small soft hail except for the size convention that hail must have a diameter greater than 5 mm. Sometimes distinguished by shape into conical, hexagonal, and lump (irregular) graupel.”
I love my adopted Emerald city, but there are times when I just want to roundly smack every journalist who works here. Take a gander at three consecutive headlines from the Seattle P-I last week.
“SNOWED UNDER.” Yes, all 6 terrifying inches of it.
“START PRAYING NOW.” Is this about the snow or the bus collision in which no one was hurt?
“WILL IT EVER STOP?” It has.
This is not journalism, this is sensationalism. Seattle, take a deep breath and stop your wild, flailing freak-out over winter weather.
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