Futurama — That’s All They Wrote

The fourth and final Futurama movie was recently released, marking the end of production of any new material (so say the creators). The four direct-to-video movies seemed a direct response to the posthumous popularity that the show enjoyed on Adult Swim and on DVD, and they deliver fairly well. The notable thing about each film is that by skirting television censors, the writers and animators have clearly been able to flex imposed boundaries, making these four “episodes” grosser, dirtier, weirder and sexier than their predecessors. Below is a review of each film with a rating in, what else?, cans of Slurm.

Bender’s Big Score: Time travel, narwhals, decapitation.

The first film delivered in multiple ways: it dragged in possibly every single character ever to appear in Futurama, it had a multifaceted plot that could not have been told in a single regular episode, and it had some great jokes. The subplot was a little weak, but tied in reasonably well. I was surprised that they launched the HMS Leela&Fry plot so early , since there were 3 other movies to go and the romance between them seemed a special touchstone that was only brought out in certain excellent episodes of the series (I’m thinking mainly of the series finale). But that’s neither here nor there. The main factor that stops the first movie from receiving a final Slurm can is that there is low re-watchability in this movie: once you know the plot and the various little twists, it’s less fun and certainly less engaging.

Beast With a Billion Backs: Tentacle sex, sentient planets, Diamondillium.

BwaBB is the most boundary pushing movie of the four. The main plot hinges on tentacle sex, which…I gotta admit I’m not the biggest fan of. The subplot is frankly a sidebar, and when it finally converges with the main action it seems forced and unfunny. And, really, David Cross is a great comedian with a funny voice, but even he couldn’t save the movie from being primarily about a giant sentient planet who implants everyone on Earth with a suckered tentacle with which to have sex. If that’s your bag, I’m sure you enjoyed it a lot more than 3 Slurm cans-worth.

Bender’s Game: Lord of the Rings jokes, D&D jokes, Nibblonian poop.

Being both a scifi and a fantasy geek, I had extremely high expectations for Bender’s Game. The creators said in an interview that the idea of putting the Futurama crew in a Dungeons and Dragons type scenario had long been an idea kicking around, but for some reason was never made into an episode. Now we know why. LOTR/D&D humor can be funny, but not funny enough for an entire film. Had this been an 8 minute “Tale of Interest,” it would have killed. Instead, the movie was uncomfortably divided up into 4 parts with different lead writers for the normal sequences and the medieval fantasy parts. It shows. There is a weird hesitancy to the humor, as if the writers considered the material either too sacred or too arcane to properly make fun of, and most of the humor is nothing we haven’t seen from other shows or parodies. And, frankly, watching Mom slap around her three sons is funny just about once per episode, not once per scene.

Into the Wild Green Yonder: Eco-terrorists, Tinfoil hats, Space manta rays.

After Bender’s Game I was disappointed enough to consider ignoring the final movie of the quartet. However, after watching it yesterday night, I’m glad to report that it’s the best one. Green Yonder is like a three part episode from a lost season. It’s just as sharp, fresh and funny as the originals, and every small subplot is engaging and makes sense once tied to the main plot. It also feels the most familiar: Big Score ran like a soap opera, Beast felt like a porn space opera and Bender’s Game was a mash-up of loose ends and geek trivia, but Green Yonder cleaves closely to themes that have worked in the past. Fry has a destiny, Leela solves eco problems with violence, Bender double crosses everyone he can and finds a skanky ladybot, and minor characters help and hinder: this is old-school Futurama, and it works the best when it doesn’t stray too far from what made it work to begin with. The movie ends with some closure, too, but you probably already know what it’ll be.

She’s crowning!

Ayup, that’s right, the Miss America pageant was on Saturday. Did you miss it? Did you think you had something better to do, dammit? (You were right).

If so, you missed the sight of Miss Indiana Katie Stam (over on the left here) being crowned in her jaw-droppingly awful shredded 80’s bridal gown. I will repeat that: for her “evening gown” she voluntarily chose an off the shoulder, slit-to-the-upper-thigh white mini dress overlaid with a long lace layer that looked like it had been dragged through a horror movie swamp full of broken glass and down home Southern charm. She’s doomed herself to forever be that pageant winner whose crowning picture we see and say “hey, Miss 1987 was kind of hot, but why does she look so constipated?”

You also missed her response to host Mario Lopez’s question of “What does it feel like to be Miss America?” Answer: Panicked, choppy breathing and flailing hands, and not a word in sight over the horizon. Yes, folks, this is our elegant and articulate new Miss America. She’s done gonna git herself to cawledge!

I celebrated the event much as I have done over the past four years: by attending an official Miss America party where we place bets on the ladies, answer trivia questions, and—most importantly—dress up as our own Misses. This year we had quite the line up in attendance, and in through the door sauntered; Miss Conception, Miss Fire, Miss Fit, Miss Interpret, Miss Tletoe, Miss Carriage (with a jar full of…never mind), Miss Diagnosis, Miss Cegenation, Swing and a Miss and a host of other lovely ladies and boys with sashes. Highlights from past years include Miss Ogyny, Miss Cellaneous, Miss Ionary Position, Miss Ion to Mars and a representative from the State of Shock. Maybe that’s where Miss Indiana secretly hails from?