A blog for all things floating in our atmosphere.
Tuesday | March 2nd | 2010

Yeah, so he was telling me about this movie called “Snow Crash,” and, well, it’s not actually a movie yet, but it totally should be. It’s, like, a book right now, but he was telling me about it, and it’s so totally perfect for like a big blockbuster action movie. I don’t remember who wrote it, and I haven’t read it, but he was describing all these scenes that are like perfect for a movie, and we were casting it in our heads. It’s like there are all these people, and they’re all online— like the Matrix—but not. And all of these people are also addicted to this drug. That’s the ‘snow’ reference. And it’s a really good story.

So, we decided that Mark Ruffalo would be perfect for the lead guy. I don’t remember his name. Did you see 13 Going on 30? Mark Ruffalo is the lead in that. He’s so dopey and cute, he’s perfect. Megan Fox would be the main girl. She’s like this really sexy programmer chick, and it would be so awesome. I want Jerry Bruckheimer to make this movie. It’s gonna be so legit.

The girl who is excitedly talking about making Neal Stephenson’s beloved cyberfreakout Snow Crash into a movie is the most normal of college girls. Think the Gap plus a smidge of Columbia sportswear. None of her very normal friends have heard of it. They are Not geeks, Not nerds. They are terrifying.

This unholy union of terrible terrible terrible ideas is simultaneously horrifying and gut-bustingly funny. Mark Ruffalo + Megan Fox + Jerry Bruckheimer + a hilariously awful plot synopsis = me holding my GUFFAWING laughter in, not even able to sip my coffee for fear of snorting through my nose. Oh, so awful.

And yet, it is exactly what would happen should Hollywood ever make Snow Crash into a blockbuster, which, mercifully, has not happened yet. Thank Hiro Protagonist for small miracles.


Posted by various vapor, assembled. on Tue Mar 2nd at 4:39PM
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Saturday | December 19th | 2009
Bryan Singer ended a few months of speculation this week by confirming that he will be directing X-Men: First Class, the 20th Century Fox prequel which shows the teen years of several of the characters from earlier X-Men movies when they were first students at Charles Xavier’s School for Gifted Students.

—Rotten Tomatoes.

I wish I could say this makes me jump out of my seat with excitement, but…meh.

Speaking as an old-school X-Men fan, the last movie in the trilogy + the unwatchable Wolverine movie = absolutely no need for more X movies. Especially a prequel which would let a bunch of 17 year old actors run roughshod over some of Marvel’s best (and most ridiculous) backstories. The X movie trilogy already forced the comics into retroactively giving Rogue—sorry, “Marie”—a real name (horrifying, I know), so I assume nothing is safe from rewrites and edits. :nerdnerdnerd:

I’m more than happy to watch the first and second movies for their fun, slightly hacky action value! But, please, leave me a few characters untouched by bad screenplays and starlets in latex. Please?


Posted by various vapor, assembled. on Sat Dec 19th at 12:19AM
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Wednesday | September 16th | 2009

The Unfortunate Devolution of Zap Mama

Zap Mama was once one of the freshest, funkiest Afropean band out there. Comprised of multitalented and multihued women from Africa and Europe, the a capella group functioned under the direction of lead vocalist, Marie Daulne. Experimenting with polyrhythmic singing straight out of the Congolese forests, their early work was a wonderfully funky and creative wake-up call*.

And then everything went to crap. Want to see how? Observe their timeline of tragedy…

Here are the covers of their earliest albums:

These are released in the early 90s without almost any instrumentation or polish, and primarily in French. The album focuses on the chorus; trading rapid-fire lines, building complex multilayered harmonies, weaving nets of interlocking breathing. The band photos are simple and straightforward: all the singers on equal footing, dressed in an interesting motley assortment of hippie-ethnic clothes, eschewing any pop-glamour veneer.

In the years ahead, Zap Mama makes some changes to their sound—adding an instrumental band, some electricity and some hip-hop crunch along the way—and becomes a major international force. The polyphonic singing on their earlier work plays beautifully with the hip-hop rhythms on 1999’s A Ma Zone, making it a bonafide hit worldwide. Truly global music. The cover to that (arguably pinnacle) album:

Band leader Marie Daulne is now a little more front-and-center, but depictions of the other ladies are still lively and present. The style is far more modern, but their quasi-tribal make-up hearkens back to their roots as a primarily “ethnic” sounding band.

The release of Ancestry in Progress in 2004 marks a definite move towards American-sounding R&B with bits of rap thrown in, and a heavy leaning on English. Still possibly classifiable as “world music,” it could also be billed as a genre-bending hiphop or soul album. 2007’s Supermoon makes no bones about it: the polyrhythms are out the window, guest stars pop up on each song, and any pretense of African/European world music subsumed utterly by uninteresting soul and funk rhythms. The remaining members from the original line-up are no more than back-up singers for the ever-spotlit cat-like croon of Marie Daulne, and nowhere is that more evident than on both covers:

2009, and the release of ReCreation. Six albums and fifteen years after that first album cover. And now? The only Afropean thing about the band is the name, the only hint that the album isn’t some big studio’s newest concoction to make money.

The rest of the band, gone. The styling, divalicious. The production values, stratospheric. Say a fond farewell to the original Zap Mama that came from the fusion of French, Belgian and Congo personas and musical inspiration, that billed itself as an exploration of the female voice and of global citizenship. Instead, meet the next disposable, unmemorable cd that will grace the counters of a thousand Starbucks worldwide.

ReCreation? Try DeMolition.

*: (If anyone is interested in hearing their work, please let me know and I will post something. I know, a music post with no music? This was just a rant, waiting for years to happen.)


Posted by various vapor, assembled. on Wed Sep 16th at 10:49PM
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