Yeah, so he was telling me about this movie called “Snow Crash,” and, well, it’s not actually a movie yet, but it totally should be. It’s, like, a book right now, but he was telling me about it, and it’s so totally perfect for like a big blockbuster action movie. I don’t remember who wrote it, and I haven’t read it, but he was describing all these scenes that are like perfect for a movie, and we were casting it in our heads. It’s like there are all these people, and they’re all online— like the Matrix—but not. And all of these people are also addicted to this drug. That’s the ‘snow’ reference. And it’s a really good story.
So, we decided that Mark Ruffalo would be perfect for the lead guy. I don’t remember his name. Did you see 13 Going on 30? Mark Ruffalo is the lead in that. He’s so dopey and cute, he’s perfect. Megan Fox would be the main girl. She’s like this really sexy programmer chick, and it would be so awesome. I want Jerry Bruckheimer to make this movie. It’s gonna be so legit.
”The girl who is excitedly talking about making Neal Stephenson’s beloved cyberfreakout Snow Crash into a movie is the most normal of college girls. Think the Gap plus a smidge of Columbia sportswear. None of her very normal friends have heard of it. They are Not geeks, Not nerds. They are terrifying.
This unholy union of terrible terrible terrible ideas is simultaneously horrifying and gut-bustingly funny. Mark Ruffalo + Megan Fox + Jerry Bruckheimer + a hilariously awful plot synopsis = me holding my GUFFAWING laughter in, not even able to sip my coffee for fear of snorting through my nose. Oh, so awful.
And yet, it is exactly what would happen should Hollywood ever make Snow Crash into a blockbuster, which, mercifully, has not happened yet. Thank Hiro Protagonist for small miracles.
Posted by various vapor, assembled. on Tue Mar 2nd at 4:39PM
